How banal our words seem when given voice!
If this day be Good, it is so as death
is good, a horrifying mystery
that I blench to gaze on, lacking stomach
to smile and sing loud, loud Hosannas. Let
these tears’ silent path speak on my behalf,
my voice still hoarse from frantic chorused cries -
Crucify Him! I have no lord but him
who lets me be! words from my tongue so strange
I know they must be my deepest, truest
thought, which illumined the depth of darkness
hidden within. Those words, words of color,
nuance (shades of avarice, tint of lust,
gentle pallet of envy and malice,
covered over with the sheen of double
lacquered pride) pronounced that judgment
for myself, and I felt how surely all
men fear to die. In that blackest daylight
hour, there I sit. So go, go and sing
It was your sin that held him there, you who
dare not to glance askew at the burden
not yet released, fearing how deep and true-
ly good that Goodness is, and sing loudly
of your crucifiction.
Even after knowing how torturous
that goodness will be, if spread on my life,
I pray, God, for that goodness to be giv'n
even to wretched me.
Will, this is difficult truth. I am so grateful for it. It has prepared my heart for the service I am about to attend.
ReplyDeleteIch bin's, ich sollte büssen, An Händen und an Füssen,
ReplyDeleteGebunden in der Höll.
Die Geisseln und die Banden, Und was du ausgestanden,
Das hat verdienet meine Seel.