A Battle of Wills

As the end of my college career hastens, I've been occasionally beating myself up over opportunities missed, dares never taken. If I'm honest, a lot of the time I was mad at God for not giving me the opportunities I wanted, and therefore missed out on seeing how incredible my options really were. Life moves on though, and I need to as well.

This course has run its term,

Now I must stand and look

Backwards upon a life

Of learning and of books.

This life I did not love,

Though I shall miss it dear;

Unloved, in that I chose

To fight the hands that steer

The path I daily drive

Instead of sitting still,

Trusting that He would guide

My hopes and life, my will.

But while I fought with Him,

What sights did we pass by?

I saw them as a flash –

Myself I did deny

The chance of finding peace,

Preferring life when tough,

For, when I’m overwhelmed,

The minimum’s enough.

How dare you demand more

You know my life’s a mess,

I can’t get sleep, yet you

Expect me to address

This text with greater depth?

No! No, by now I know

That path will lead to naught,

Nothing but tears to show

For years of worthless work.

Now I must chose which way

To look, be it behind

Or towards a bold new day. 

I cannot help but feel

Remorse, so many sights

Unseen, but now I’ve learned

The past has few delights.

So let your life roll on,

You’ll find the bitter cup

In time will grow more sweet,

And God will raise you up,

If you’ll admit defeat,

For He alone can see

The bumps that lie ahead.

Surrender - become free.